One Friday afternoon on January 26th, 2018, I walked into my high school band room. I went up to our cabinet, where we stock our taped up, sticker laden instrument cases on old, beaten up shelves. Zoned out as I usually was, I noticed nothing out of the ordinary until I saw the size 36 font sign reading “Congrats, Jorryn!” approximately 3 feet in front of my face. The previous night, right before our usual Thursday Wind Ensemble rehearsal, I sat with my French horn bouncing in my lap and my phone shaking in my hand as I checked to see if I had gotten into my top choice, Florida State University. A small chorus of war chants broke out over the Sickles High School auditorium as all the seniors found out their admission status, and I saw the electronic garnet and gold confetti erupt across my screen. I gave my goofiest smile to my good friend, third chair horn Alex, and was giddy all rehearsal. I couldn’t wait to go home and tell my parents the news. Unbeknownst to me, the members of my section were planning a little surprise. The next day, I followed my usual Friday routine of getting out of class, walking to the band room, grabbing my stuff and waiting for our awfully constructed school parking lot to clear out before heading home. This time was a little different. I had walked in to discover golden ribbons taped on to the peeling walls of our cabinet, a sign congratulating me on my achievement, a card signed by all 14 members of my section, and a few smiling faces. My first instinct, being the jittery and anxious person that I am, was that I was going to offend someone who didn’t get in. This sort of thing is usually on the back of my mind. But, I eventually forgot about that as I was enveloped in a group hug.
“You guys! You didn’t have to do this!” I said.
“We wanted to!”
“We’re proud of you!!”
“It was Kayla’s idea!”
I read the card. In summary, they had wrote me a heart-warming message telling me how proud they were of me, how much they appreciated me being their section leader, and that they loved me. I held myself together, but there were tears in my eyes. A lot had happened during my high school years, and I had to grow up a lot. It started my freshman year, where I had established my never completely forgotten reputation as the band’s “quiet girl.” It was a role I played well. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, and I didn’t have many friends. I talked regularly to about 2 people, and it took a long time to grow out of this. My sophomore year was about the same. I talked big game about being section leader one day, but it was pretty clear that I wasn’t going to get it. This was correct. I did not get the position. My junior year, I hadn’t completely broken out of my shell yet, but I guess I had planted the seeds of something you could call confidence. By a mix of a small amount of change and pretty much being the only qualified person for the position, I was named the 2017-2018 French horn section leader. It was a huge accomplishment for me, but most of my growing was to be done while I was in my position. In the beginning, I didn’t think I was very good. I probably wasn’t. I stumbled over my words, went back on what I said, had to ask for help a few times. It was a rough start. But apparently I had done something right. I had noticed something different about my section. They started getting closer, hanging out more, laughing together, playing games. The freshmen got more involved too. It was the “togetherest” we had ever been. That moment, when they gave me that card, was something really special. I had the realization that I had done something. I had changed. I had talked to people. I had made people come together! I had made people happy, and somehow I had left an impact on them. I realized that I was someone who could be outgoing, have friends, and be funny. I have a lot of love in my heart for that little group of horn players. I don’t think they will ever know just how important to me they are, and how much they taught me about myself. They gave me something that I can carry with me here, now that I’m actually at Florida State, and for the rest of my life.
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