One Friday afternoon on January 26th, 2018, I walked into my high school band room. I went up to our cabinet, where we stock our taped up, sticker laden instrument cases on old, beaten up shelves. Zoned out as I usually was, I noticed nothing out of the ordinary until I saw the size thirty-six font sign reading “Congrats, Jorryn!” approximately 3 feet in front of my face. The previous night, right before our usual Thursday Wind Ensemble rehearsal, I sat with my French horn bouncing in my lap and my phone shaking in my hand as I checked to see if I had gotten into my top choice, Florida State University. I’d known where I wanted to go ever since middle school. Two minutes before four, a small chorus of war chants broke out over the Sickles High School auditorium as all the seniors found out their admission status, and I saw the electronic garnet and gold confetti erupt across my screen. I gave my goofiest smile to my good friend, third chair horn Alex, and was giddy all rehearsal. I couldn’t wait to go home and tell my parents the news. Unbeknownst to me, the members of my section were planning a little surprise. The next day, I followed my usual Friday routine of getting out of class 5 minutes early (senior privileges), walking to the band room, grabbing my stuff and waiting for our horribly inefficient school parking lot to clear out before heading home. This time was a little different. I had walked in to discover golden ribbons taped on to the peeling walls of our cabinet, a sign congratulating me on my achievement, a few smiling faces, and very importantly- a little card, signed by all 14 members of the horn section. My first instinct, being the jittery and anxious person that I am, was to be concerned that I was going to upset someone who didn’t get in. This sort of thing is usually in the back of my mind. But, I eventually forgot about that as I was enveloped in a group hug.
“You guys! You didn’t have to do this!” I said. I was hit with a small flood of responses-
“We wanted to!”
“Do you like it?”
“I couldn’t find garnet ribbons anywhere!”
“We’re proud of you!!”
“It was Kayla’s idea!”
I read the card. I can’t actually remember what the card itself looked like, but that wasn’t the important part. Inside, they had written me a heart-warming message congratulating me on getting into my top choice, and told me that they were all very proud, that they appreciated me being their section leader, and that they loved me. I held myself together, but there were tears in my eyes. A lot had happened during my high school years, and I had to grow up a lot. It started my freshman year, where I had established my never completely forgotten reputation as the band’s “quiet girl.” It was a role I played well. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, and I didn’t have many friends. I talked regularly to about 2 people, and it took a long time to grow out of this. My sophomore year was about the same. I talked big game about being section leader one day, but it was pretty clear that I wasn’t going to get it. This assumption was correct- I did not get the position. My junior year, I hadn’t completely broken out of my shell yet, but I guess I had planted the seeds of something you could call confidence. By a mix of a small amount of change and pretty much being the only qualified person for the position, I was named the 2017-2018 French horn section leader. It was a huge accomplishment for me, but most of my growing was to be done while I was in my position. In the beginning, I didn’t think I was very good. I probably wasn’t. I stumbled over my words, gave bad directions, went back on what I said, had to ask for help a few times. It was a rough start. But apparently I had done something right, and this card showed me that. I had noticed something different about my section. It was the closest we had ever been. That moment, when they gave me that card, was something really special. I couldn’t recall another time in the previous 3 years that my section had gotten together to do something like that. Before, we had all been friendly, but as it usually goes in high school there were rivalries and drama and such. But, that year, my section started hanging out more before football games, cracking all kinds of jokes, going to eat together, and so on. We played games together, like Yu-Gi-Oh mobile, and made obnoxious dances like “The Sweep” which we performed in the stands of the football stadium to drum cadences. More people decided to work on solos and take private lessons than ever. The freshmen got more involved too, like Kayla, the freshman who had planned the surprise. After I got that card, I had the realization that both the section and I had done something. As they began to change, so had I. I had talked to people. I had made people come together! I had made people happy, and somehow I had left an impact on them. I realized that I was someone who could be outgoing, have good friends, and be funny. They reminded me that day that being myself was good enough. I can’t thank them enough for it. I have a lot of love in my heart for that little group of horn players. I don’t think they will ever know just how important to me they are, and how much they taught me about myself. They gave me something that I can carry with me here, now that I’m actually at Florida State, and for the rest of my life.
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